Sooo when I started this blog I started by writing an ‘about me’ page. It was harder than I thought it would be. A lot harder. As you’ve probably figured this blog is primarily about getting healthy, and the truth hurts I guess. Ha! The fact that I try not to talk about myself definitely didn’t make things any easier either.
But with that being said- writing the ‘about me’ was beneficial because it really FORCED me to think about actual goals. Instead of the typical “I want to get healthy and lose weight” I actually really thought about why I wanted to and how I was going to do it. Saying I want to be healthy is all well and good, but I need to get my arse in gear and actually STICK WITH IT! In the past I’ve had a lot of false starts. It’s easy to stick with something in the beginning.. but then I become flaky about it. Uhg. I can’t stand flakiness in others (and I even dislike the word- eww) so why in the world would I accept it from MYSELF!?
Life has changed a bit since I wrote my ‘about me’ page. I am still balancing a lot (and pretend planning a wedding, I should really start working on that….), but the 4 vacations I mentioned have become 3 vacations. I didn’t go into a lot of detail about them, but one of them was a girls trip to the Bahamas!
(Focus on the clear, pretty water- not the awkward stance or roots..)
Well..that trip was 2 weeks ago, and I didn’t lose the weight I wanted to. (SEE: False Starts). I was super insecure about the whole thing. I LOVE the islands, needed a vacation, and wanted to push myself outside my normal boundaries. BUT all the women I was going with are tiny, petite little things and I didn’t really know any of them all that well. Unfortunately, everyone but the person that planned the trip and I cancelled.. We still had fun, and had lots of relaxing time. But the major bonus was the big “breakthrough” I had.
The woman I went with is probably 5′ 3″ (7 inches shorter than me) and weights 110lbs on a “bad” day. (Not ready to publicly discuss my weight- HA!) We were together 24/7 for the entire week and it was really interesting to see how she ate. She did eat, and not particularly well (ie junk, probably because we were on vacation), but she ate what I thought were tiny portions. I decided that I was going to eat the same way she did, and I wrote down every bite that went into my mouth. What I found was scary.. I was really eating 1700-1800 calories and I felt like I was hardly eating at all. WOAH- telling much?
To be in full disclosure there was a fair amount of rum involved most days- hello empty calories.
Also everything on that dang island is super expensive ($15 for a crappy burger, forget salads as even an option) so we went to the grocery store there on our second day and pretty much just ate in the room. We really bought a lot of processed garbage, but when we were buying it she was looking at it’s vitamin and mineral content. Me? I’m looking at calories- and I try to avoid overly processed stuff. It was interesting to me to see our different views, and how it was working for us. I still feel that as far as “health” goes whole foods are the way to go.. but it seems unfair she eats teddy grahams and ramen and gets to be skinny. Life’s unfair, I know. lol. I did feel pretty good when she was having trouble walking through the water and on the sand and I wasn’t having any trouble. (That sounds terrible, but I don’t mean it like that!)
Honestly I was/am mad at myself for not sticking with it and being able to feel at least moderately comfortable in a swim suit on vacation. Even though I’m upset with myself I know life’s a journey, and I feel like I’ve got the kick I needed to stick with it. Now I just need to keep up the will power– 3 other good things did come out of the trip as well.
1)While I was gone I got in the habit of drinking a ton of water, so I am trying to keep up with it.
2.) I managed to lose approx 2.5 lbs while on vacation, and that was weighing in right when I got home at the end of the day.
3.) An acquaintance became a friend 🙂
It’s dawned on me that the 1.5 year engagement is down to 14 months and haven’t made (hardly) ANY progress at all.
So with that being said I am off to take Lori on a walk 🙂
Can you tell who runs the animal kingdom here? Poor Lori..