No Words

I’ve been working on a weekend recap post, but it was another crazy weekend and it’s taking forever. Forgive me for getting out of order here, but I just really needed to write this out.

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I took these pictures over the weekend.

Lily is my Great Pyrenees- but she lives with my parents because their home is on a large lot. I got her four winters ago, after I lost my first Pyr. I rushed into getting another dog and I really shouldn’t have gotten her so quick but I was so heartbroken from losing the puppy I grew up with. This was also around the time that T and I were going through our rough patch.. it was really rough. I was away from the house a lot and withdrawn.

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To be honest the dog was the only reason I ever went home. (Don’t worry this all happened 4 years ago and we have since worked out our issues). But I really wasn’t home as much as I should have been. Pyrenees tend to have food aggression issues, and I didn’t catch Lily’s developing issue as soon as I should have. (Also not to worry- I lived with my parents at this time so they were both there + T + Oly– Lily wasn’t not being cared for).

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My first Pyr, Snowy was a dog we actually got from the mall pet store. My mom and I were shopping when I was like 8 years old and we saw her jammed into a tiny cage. It was heart breaking enough that my mom whipped out her credit card and bought the dog. This is probably one of my most exciting memories ever because I am a planner and my family are all planners so something so spur of the moment was just crazy.

Snowy was pretty much the sweetest dog on the planet- but because she didn’t get very good care in the first 5 or so months of her life she was also a huge chicken and was about half the size of a typical Pyr. I actually loved it because she was a huge lover and she was smaller so she didn’t drool.

When I got Lil I was in for a HUGE surprise.. She’s literally twice as big as Snow was and her personality couldn’t be more different. She’s VERY sweet to humans, but she just doesn’t get along with other dogs well.

She got into a huge fight with my Dad’s dog last winter and almost killed her. They had had scuffles before, but nothing like that. After the fight I researched the best dog training schools around and literally spent thousands having her trained. She went to doggie prison (in patient?) training for 2 weeks straight and then I took her to training every Saturday morning after that for quite awhile.

I trust the trainers, but they basically said she just has a huge food aggression problem and that it was her personality. They trained her (and us) how to best control her- shes a beast at 130 pounds- and told us that she was not to eat around other dogs. EVER. The other major part of our training was that we weren’t to leave dog food bowls down, because she would just freak out.

Lily did pretty well (she would still get in occasional scuffles, but nothing too major) after the training. When I moved out of my parents house I took her and Lori with me. The house that T and I bought is situated close to the neighbors though, and the people who live in the house behind us have this dumb chihuahua who barks at everything. Lily couldn’t take the barking so within a week I had to take her back to my parents house. Luckily my parents love her and were willing to take care of my dog for me.___

Two winters ago my Grandma died and after a few months my Grandpa and his two dogs moved in with us. At that point I was still living at home so it was my parents, Grandpa, T and me + my 2 cats, 2 dogs, my moms dog and my Grandpa’s two dogs. Thank goodness my parents have a large house, but it was still a bit of a madhouse. One of my Grandpa’s two dogs was actually my Grandma’s dog.

I wish I had some puppy pictures of Dutchess handy- because she was the cutest pup ever. She and my Grandma were so attached that it wasn’t even funny. When Grandma passed away it was a full 18 or so months before Dutch would even acknowledge anyone. In the past 6 or so months she became such a sweet girl.

On Saturday I went to my parents and my Dad mentioned that Lily and Dutch had gotten into it pretty bad. Or rather Lily went after Dutch pretty bad. There wasn’t any blood or anything though so he didn’t really think much of it. On Sunday Dutch wasn’t eating so we started to get worried.

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This dog never missed a meal.

Dutchess had Cushing syndrome/ thyroid problems and my Grandpa has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t understand that he can’t feed her his meals. Soo.. the poor dog looked like an ottoman.

On Monday my Mom took her to the vet first thing and the doctor drained a bunch of infection from her back. It all seemed pretty weird because she never bled. The vet put her on pain meds and a bunch of antibiotics and kept her for the day. My Mom picked her up last night and said she was quiet, but okay. Last night around 10 my Dad went to give her a pill and she was cold.

I am so upset that I am sick. I feel terrible that it was my dog that did it. I feel like I let my Grandma down in the worst possible way. When my Grandma passed away she was in the hospital for a couple weeks before hand. She had also been quite ill for 10 or so years before she passed. I could tell that this was going to be the last time in some sick and weird way. She was in so much pain and so tired and I could just tell. Family was around all the time, but there was one point when she was still conscious that I was alone with her and got to speak with her. I told her I loved her and that I would take care of Grandpa and her dogs. My whole family thought she would get better at that point, and telling this story also makes me sick. I hope she didn’t think that I was giving up on her. I just wanted to give her some peace.

Now Dutch is gone and I’m so worried about what it’s going to do to Grandpa. That was kind of his last tangible piece of Grandma. I feel devastated and guilty all at the same time.

Sorry about the huge downer post, I’ll be back tomorrow with a (good) weekend recap.

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2 thoughts on “No Words

  1. Aw I am so sorry you’re going through this! Your Pyr is just beautiful but that’s really too bad she has food issues. I know a lot of dogs like that. My husband’s mom had a Malamute that almost killed a Pomeranian we had because it dared go near her food. That same Malamute also killed a cat but that’s a different story. That is heartbreaking your grandparents dog passed, but the poor thing look so unhealthy. A dog’s weight can really, really affect their health- a lot of people don’t realize that. Try not to blame yourself over the pup’s scuffle. Now Duchess is with your grandma which surely was a much anticipated reunion! ❤

    • Thank you so much for your sweet words <3.. you made me tear up in the best possible way at the anticipated reunion part 🙂

      That's terrible about the pom and kitty! What did your mother in law end up doing with her dog? I don't want to get rid of Lil, but she's already been to training and I am kind of at wits end..

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