So I had the best diet intentions ever for today. I shopped and prepped all my breakfast, snacks, lunches and dinners for the entire week last night.
Another big thing I did was make the mental commitment that no matter what I tell myself in the morning I would be getting my damn ass out of bed for the gym.
Last night I slept terribly. It was weird, I knew as I was sleeping that I was troubled. I tend to have BAD anxiety dreams when I’m stressed and last night’s topped them all. I woke up around 3-4 and saw a text message from my Dad asking if I was awake. He sent it around midnight and then followed it with a message saying call me before you go into work. Since he followed it up with that I figured it was just work stuff (not uncommon) so I tried to go back to sleep for a bit.
Around 6 I woke up to my phone ringing and it was my Dad. He asked if I was awake and I told him not really. He asked me to wake up a little because he had some bad news. He started off by saying we’re fine, Grandpa’s fine, the animals are fine.. but the cabin burned down last night. My heart just sunk when he started telling me everyone was fine, because I knew I wasn’t going to like what he had to say by any means.
The cabin was my happy place. There was no work and no stress up there. Just relaxation and family. I wrote a post in May that summed it up well I think. It’s just the most relaxing place on Earth (or AZ at least).
My dad talked about selling it a few years ago and it was then that I realized how much I loved it.
The fire started by the side of the house- they are guessing lightening was the cause right now, but that isn’t the final work. It actually started right under my window.
As crappy as it is I know everything happens for a reason. It’s still hard to deal with right now though.
That’s my bed frame laying on the ground.
The closet and most of the ceiling is laying in the basement below my room. My parent’s bathroom was above it and their tub, sink, and toilet are all laying in the basement closet.
Everything happens for a reason. I can’t even begin to think how bad it would have been if we were there. (And I don’t want to). My Grandpa would have been in the room next to me. He can walk, but he’s slow. My parents would have been trapped upstairs with the smoke. We would have had five dogs with us. (My 2, Grandpas 2 and my moms). Best case scenario we would have had five dogs loose in the forest. Worst… no. T and I also took pretty much all of our family pictures up last time we went. We had plans to come back the next weekend (didn’t happen) and I considered leaving them up there. Thank GOD I didn’t. Seriously, thank you God.
The fire was concentrated in my bedroom, but the downstairs bath, laundry/mudroom and kitchen all got it bad.
The cabin is 2.5 hours away so we drove up there to talk to the fire chief, police and insurance people early today. The house is likely a total loss. There are a few little things like pictures that they will be able to save and clean up. It started raining while we were up there and they opened up the basement doors so we could look it. It was raining in the basement…water was coming in from the lofted ceiling 3 stories up.
It was all just too much to deal with. It still doesn’t seem real.
2 random asides from today that actually made the day somewhat tolerable:
1.) The police chief brought his k9. As he was leaving I asked if I could see him. He said sure so I followed him to his car. I just literally meant see, but he brought him out so I could pet and meet him. He was super sweet, and it was cool to learn a little bit about him and his training. The funny part was I thought his name was “kilo” from what I read in the community newsletter. Nope, actually “kiko”.. pretty sure they chief thought I was an idiot, but I did explain that I thought it was a pun..
2.) When we went to open the storage unit under the kitchen it reminded me of when I opened it a few summers ago and I saw a really weird critter. It looked and moved like a snake, but it had legs. I asked the fire guys if they were local, and they said yes. So I asked them what it was called. One of the two left to take a call, so it was just me and the younger one. He replied “a skank”. The whole day caught up with me and I snort laughed, because I thought I misheard him. I asked him to repeat himself and he turned bright pink and I was like “I swear I’ve heard them called skanks”. Good stuff.
I told my mom about it in the car on the way home and her comment was “well I wonder how they came up with that. You don’t get that name for nothing”. This came from my super conservative, sweet, quiet mom.
Everything is just so weird right now. I don’t think it’s sunk in much.. I know it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could be.. but damn.
Anyway, thanks for the mini therapy sessions. To actually get back on point- my goals are simple this week. Just make it out with my mind. I am going to try to hit the gym extra for some sanity and eat well- the hard part is done. No recap this week.. next week ‘kay?